In our day to day walk in life we are inundated with decisions, useless chatter, distractions, celebrations and much more. Since being laid of at the end of 08, I have had time to sit and do much of nothing. And while to some that seems like a break from the day to day things that consume our lives, it is rather consuming and tiring if you are truly using the time in a positive manner to simply listen. I have been developing my listening skills to hear what the next step for my businesses are, to help friends to receive positive affirmation...yes to receive positive affirmation. You ever been given a compliment and half-hearted thank the person who gave it...more than likely it was difficult to sit and hear something positive about oneself, not sure why. We are hammered over the head so often with what's wrong with us that it seems unnatural that someone would take the time to actually praise us for our abilities and our efforts. Don't you just love the praise that is quickly followed by criticism!? It negates the positive affirmation, I think; others use it as a tact to help the negative portion go down a little easier! I don't think it works as great as they think it does because there are mixed signals being given, don't you think? Guess it depends of the situation. I digress...
Listening has made me pay attention even more to the small details that people are really saying and how they are really feeling. Reading body language, the change in the tone of voice, their eye movement, all quite fascinating observations to what is really being said. Did you know that most people lie!?! It is more comfortable for us to hear what we want to hear than the truth. We listen to deception and lies and reject the truth. They did it to Jesus, the ultimate conveyor of truth! They had a hard time listening in it's purest for and then digesting the truth. Don't we do the same. Why is it that gossip is so sweet to our ears, but when someone tells us they don't love us the same way, we have a hard time handling it.
Listen to yourself and what you tell yourself in your private thoughts. Do you listen to yourself when you lie? Do you feel better after you have distorted truth? Listening requires much of yourself because you have to lay down your thoughts, your judgments, your preconditioning to actually hear what the person is saying.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
April 21, 2006
Alive and free.
Alive is me
Alive to love fully
Love how it was meant to be
Love from the inner most
part of me.
If I choose you to be
the one I love.
No more searching
seeking, wanting, needing
someone
anyone to love me
because I am alive to love myself.
Alive and free to love me the way I ought to be
LOVED.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
When I grow up
When I grow up I want to be the best person ever. I want to know that I loved with all I had to give, gave all that I had to give and laughed through even the roughest times. Times are hard for everyone and people who previously thought the had it all figured out and on their road to retirement are now transitioning into an entirely different field an entirely different life. It's like we are starting all over again and are trying to decided what we want to be when we grow up.
Recently a college friend and I went for an afternoon of coffee, conversation and food. Come to find out, we had very different but similar experiences back when we were trying to figure out who we were and what we should be in life. It's been 10 years since I graduated and life has been difficult, much more different than either of us ever imagined. Although what do you imagine life will be like? Where do you have this information taught? Mainly I would say, it is taught in your home...there's no course, no elective that teaches what life is going to bring, what you will endure and how you will react. The pitfalls and trials in life shape who we are and sometimes causes us to back ridiculously absurd choices in life. We both shared the same sentiment of rejection and how, because we were unsure of who we were, allowed it to spiral us out of control of making horrible life altering decisions. Our question to one another is how do we prevent others from making the same mistakes that we did. The only way I know is to talk about it, and who ever listens, even if it's one, is better than having knowledge and not sharing it.
Makes me now sit back and rethink some current things in my life and the decisions that I am making. At 32, life is more precious to me than ever, its reminder that tomorrow isn't promised is all around, but this time I want to get it right. When I grow up, I want to know that its headed in the direction I want because I chose it instead of it haphazardly happening due to horrible choices.
Recently a college friend and I went for an afternoon of coffee, conversation and food. Come to find out, we had very different but similar experiences back when we were trying to figure out who we were and what we should be in life. It's been 10 years since I graduated and life has been difficult, much more different than either of us ever imagined. Although what do you imagine life will be like? Where do you have this information taught? Mainly I would say, it is taught in your home...there's no course, no elective that teaches what life is going to bring, what you will endure and how you will react. The pitfalls and trials in life shape who we are and sometimes causes us to back ridiculously absurd choices in life. We both shared the same sentiment of rejection and how, because we were unsure of who we were, allowed it to spiral us out of control of making horrible life altering decisions. Our question to one another is how do we prevent others from making the same mistakes that we did. The only way I know is to talk about it, and who ever listens, even if it's one, is better than having knowledge and not sharing it.
Makes me now sit back and rethink some current things in my life and the decisions that I am making. At 32, life is more precious to me than ever, its reminder that tomorrow isn't promised is all around, but this time I want to get it right. When I grow up, I want to know that its headed in the direction I want because I chose it instead of it haphazardly happening due to horrible choices.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Reposition
It would be an understatement to say this is a season of change and transition. Millions of people are being displaced, ejected from lives they were used to, and left in despair as their financial portfolio lie in ruins.
Recently, a friend of mine had to move back into her mom's house with her husband, and where the immediate reaction to this jolting situation led to feelings of desperation, frustration, less than and depression I had to remind her to praise God anyhow. Why? Because they could have had parents that said, nope, you are grown, make it on your own; or could have not had family and had to move into a homeless shelter. Praise God for allowing her to be in a place where there is less stress on her day to day schedule and her dollar can stretch farther. Because she is in school, works full time, is trying to start a new business and is married, this won't be like this forever. Graduation is around the corner and she will be able to navigate through this time in her life. I also advised her to take the time that she has to pray and ask God about the repositioning phase she is in. Sometimes God allows certain things to happen, to bend our ear more towards him. I know that happens to me all the time. Certain things don't come through or fall completely apart not because he doesn't want us to succeed, but to have us more connected to him.
Allow God to reposition you so that you are aligned with His will, instead of the plans you made for yourself! Who would you rather be dependent on?
Recently, a friend of mine had to move back into her mom's house with her husband, and where the immediate reaction to this jolting situation led to feelings of desperation, frustration, less than and depression I had to remind her to praise God anyhow. Why? Because they could have had parents that said, nope, you are grown, make it on your own; or could have not had family and had to move into a homeless shelter. Praise God for allowing her to be in a place where there is less stress on her day to day schedule and her dollar can stretch farther. Because she is in school, works full time, is trying to start a new business and is married, this won't be like this forever. Graduation is around the corner and she will be able to navigate through this time in her life. I also advised her to take the time that she has to pray and ask God about the repositioning phase she is in. Sometimes God allows certain things to happen, to bend our ear more towards him. I know that happens to me all the time. Certain things don't come through or fall completely apart not because he doesn't want us to succeed, but to have us more connected to him.
Allow God to reposition you so that you are aligned with His will, instead of the plans you made for yourself! Who would you rather be dependent on?
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