Thankfulness

During this time of transition, I have said a lot of things. Some out of fear, some out of faith, some out of frustration, some out of decisiveness, and still some out of trying to wrap my natural mind around what has been going on.

Things have not been as the seemed or were supposed to be.

Stepping out on faith is a battle. Battle between your spiritual and natural minds. Your natural mind wants to see all the negative around you, the potential for how things can go wrong, and keep you wrapped in emotions and fear. Where your spiritual mind pushes to elevate your consciousness, jerks you out of the blues, and tell you to keep moving out of the valley of fear.

As a human, it is hard to shut my mouth at all times, especially when something or someone challenges my knowledge and rationale of thinking. I guess because being subject to years of mental abuse, I like to be reassured my thought process is in tact. So, I will voice those concerns. Also in part because I talk my way through situations, out of the natural back into the spiritual. I don't want to come off as complaining, it's not.

I am so thankful for the 10 wonderful years I spent with Sampson, my beloved rottie.

I am thankful for the love, encouragement, and financial support I receive from my parents.

I am thankful for unemployment helping me survive this past year.

I am thankful for people who love and support me.

I am thankful for what I do have, who I am, where I am going, and this part of the process.

Thank you all who love and support me. Not many people understand me, but I'm cool with that.

Trust in ???

When times get tough, who or what do you trust in? Where do you pull strength from to continue? Where do you seek counsel and advice to better understand?

Life is a bumpy ride for everyone. We are all people moving. Some have understanding of their true purpose and some don't. Some are walking in truth and some not. Some have everything they could desire materially and some are depleted of moral consciousness. The truth is we are all hurting people navigating through life. Life and who ever choose to become an accomplice to it, can have a time with you making you feel as though you are never good enough, strong enough, intelligent or pretty enough. It can make you feel like killing yourself or even more dangerous, slip into a comma where you are physically alive, but dead or sleep on the inside.

In this journey of my life, I talk with thousands of people who possess the power to overcome and defeat anything that comes their way in life. Some of us have never truly known what it is to have a really hard life, other than not making enough money. I fall guilty of being a complainer of the lack of finances and not being thankful of having a roof over my head, food on the table and gas in the tank! I take my personal stock and say I am blessed.

I choose in this life, to trust not in what I can see, but in the power that is working on my behalf to navigate my life in the way it is supposed to go. After all, it was all preplanned by God. If it was all preplanned by God, then I choose to trust, that at this very precise moment, I just came through one of the most challenging weekends in 2009. After a lot of promises by man, I have endured betrayal, abandonment, and lies that we have all encountered. I lost my closest confidant. Through it all I took the time to mourn, but now, I am back.

When the situation around me ceases to exhibit peace I know it is coming from one source. That source is not truth, has never been and will never be. After I dried my eyes, I sit here erected in my posture, head up and smiling. I trust in the plan maker. I trust in He who gave me life, purpose and power to walk in His glory. I trust...again.